What does Happiness mean to you, and how can you truly create this as your theme of the Season?
Is this your scenario?
You know the drill. You are trying to “do it all”- meaning, you need to work to earn your living, your family needs attention, you are supposed to eat right and exercise and go to all your self-care wellness, and you are just barely holding it together. Most of the time, food is in the fridge and you are going where you need to go when you need to get there.
And then, the holidays march in.
Suddenly, you are fixing dinner for 10. Or 20. Maybe people are staying at your home. Maybe you are traveling. There are gifts to buy and parties to attend. Life becomes a swirl of complete insanity. Good diet and exercise, and routine in general, goes out the window. But wait, it’s my busy season at work! We have the year end deadlines! We have to stay late and work more! Sugar and caffeine, please!
Why does it feel like everyone else can handle this easily except you?
Hint: They probably cannot handle it that easily, but they either don’t talk about it, don’t tune in with themselves, or both.
Yes, you can turn around your scenario. Here’s how.
Tune in with yourself. Let’s fly 1000 feet in the air first. Ready? I want you to really THINK here. Like, really empty out your mind and be with yourself. We are talking about values. We don’t do what we are supposed to do. We act in accordance with our core values. We do this subconsciously, most of the time.
To tune in, ask yourself:
- What is truly important to me?
- What is frustrating to me?
- What do I wish could change, that if it changed, I’d feel at ease?
Yes, we are getting below the psyche here. It’s a cool place. We can teach our mind to be happy, on a deep level. When we are happy on a deep level, the world is easier. When things are easier we get more of the right stuff done. When we get more of the right stuff done, we are productive. And happier. And so it goes…
Now that you are focused on your values, and you understand what will make you happy, it’s time to be the architect of your holiday season.
Focus Forward: Ask yourself the same questions as above, with “at the holidays” as a suffix.
Are the answers the same? Different?
Find Your Frustration: By this time, you have some sentences. A WORD OF CAUTION. THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE. IT MAY HAVE *NOTHING* TO DO WITH YOUR NEEDS AND VALUES. IT IS AN *EXAMPLE ONLY.* THIS EXAMPLE IS GIVEN TO ILLUSTRATE THE *PROCESS* TO TRUE HOLIDAY HAPPINESS.
Perhaps you have written something like this:
“What is truly important to me at the holidays?”
“It is truly important for me to be able to be present; to be fully tuned-in when I am with my family.”
“What is frustrating to me?”
“It is frustrating to not be able to work full days at the holidays due to all the extra needs of the season. I end up staying late and eating pizza and drinking too much coffee. Then I feel horrible and the cycle repeats itself.”
When you have both what you want written, and what you do NOT want written, often the answer for change (question 3) will emerge automatically. Allow that magic wand to work. Maybe you dare to write “I wish I did not have to work at all during the last two weeks of December.”
Caution: Many of us fear writing our *deepest dreams* because they feel too big or too crazy; not attainable, not practical, silly, whatever. Don’t make that mistake. We will break it down.
Look at your magic wand statement; your deepest dream. What is one micro step you might take toward that dream? In this example, not wanting to work at all from Dec. 15-31, ask yourself, what are the most critical pieces of work that must be completed so that this could happen? What could fall to the side? Just doing that one exercise is helpful and is a step toward living in true holiday happiness.
Create your happy place. After these four steps, you are on your way to a true plan for happiness, at the holidays and beyond.